so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
apparently the secret to your success is patron
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
