No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
