Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize