wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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