That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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