her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
