Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
