I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
