I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
