I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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