i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
