Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Randomize