He is an equal opportunity slut.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
