I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
