why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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