OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize