I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Panties = found
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize