I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize