I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
