Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can't put those talents on a resume
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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