You just made me feel so damn special
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
