for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
