He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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