If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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