i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
