last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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