i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
