So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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