I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
