Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
