Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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