dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she looked like the before picture.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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