i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
