your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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