I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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