i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
