I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
