And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm at about main and main street
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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