So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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