Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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