At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
