i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
