Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
