I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
