I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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