you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
