we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize