okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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