I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize