You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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