Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
