"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he shaved USA in his pubs
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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