we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
