somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
