if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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